Goddamn Grocery Store

In the grocery store buying tomato soup . at the cash out and the girl says sir you can only have two today if you have  the coupon. asked her what coupon and she said this weeks flyer. I said i don't have any coupons . she says  then you can only have two per coupon. i says i don't have a coupon.  and they think because i'm an old guy  i have hearing problems the idiots. 3 minits later the manager comes. I  told him what happened what the fuss is and then the butt-crack says listen just leave two here buy two with your coupon. i said who the hell hired you two idiots ? then i yelled i don't  DOOOOOOOOOON'T  have a fucking coupon moron ! Manager said why didn't you say that in the first place and asks me to leave because I'm being to loud and disturbing the customers . disturbing? they disturbed me in the goddamn first place !  store must be run by blockheaeds dumbells and defective half wits.

Kids Are A Pain In The F'n Ass

In the store with the wife Val and some broad is letting her kids run wild. Banged into our cart and took off. Damn little rugrats. Then the mother goes oh please stop really winey, kids continue. Finally i said hey make your kids behave . she said i can't i have to grocery shop.
the wife says come on harry leave her alone. i said when her kids leave me alone . then i said why don't you lock em in the car while your shopping . you know what she said? oh i can't do that anymore because my parole officer said so . WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL ??

Drivers Are Morons

So I'm walking across the street to get my paper at 7-11 and I  have the right of way. This guy is sitting at a stop light in his car he can't go until the  light turns okay . so I'm walking  and out of nowhere the dickhead yells hey grandpa get moving I want to get across to the other side today . I said what's the hurry you are at a light that's read anyway. he yells  just get moving! gives me the finger. I said there's no reason for that moron! and undid my belt faces my ass his way and gave him one hell of a mooner, and continued my  crossing the street to the other side. Looked back got 4 new fingers from other cars, so I flashed mine.  morons have no goddamn patients.

Why Do Old Married Broads ?

Get all flustered when young guys call them one of those pain in the ass corny lovey dovey names like honey or sweetie . Pizza delivery guy , some young dufus  hands over the pizza and says there you are honey and she practically almost drops the pizza. Going ooh oohh how nice to hear ! for frick sakes he could be her f'n son! I said Val got some ants in your pants and she stops and shoves me the box and says Harry go eat your dinner and gives me a rot in hell look. I said you've been there show me the way !  

So then after the pizza I wondered if she would get flustered if I said the looney word the kid said. So she hands me a plate and I said thanks honey . NOTHING !   I said how come when the kid called you honey you practically had an orgasm (didn't know she still got em , thought she was broke n wore out n shriveled up) and I call you honey I get nothing.  she said want to go to the home  now or wait till after I croak ? I have brochures . 

Stepped In Dog Shit

what the hell is wrong with the people who own dogs let them shit and leave it for someone to come along to step in it. Hey ever notice whoever steps in it looks like they are going to go insane from being pissed off ? I find it funny. Till  I stepped in some, the wife says did you know you steppin in doggy do ?  like christ sakes lady ! what the hell am i taking my shoe off calling the owner a fuckin  asswipe for? friggin ol bat. love the gal but good grief !  

Wife Pissed Me Off Today

In the grocery store and her friend Harriet comes along. She says can't talk now idiots with me. What the hell was that ?? Frigin witch. We were inseparable now that we are in the 60's  I'm called ' the idiot ' . My name is Harry , was unaware it start's with an i all of the sudden. We once said i'll never call you old fart names. Well idiot sounds worse you ol bat!